I’ve started writing a new post, I dunno, four or five times only to stop shortly into it. I currently have three drafts waiting in the wings that I have no intention of finishing and I know for a fact that I deleted a few already. Will this post make it? I don’t know. What’s it to you? Stop asking me questions! What are you? A cop? You gotta tell me if you’re a cop.
I can’t seem to decide on what I want to write about. My current health is kind of in limbo. I’m stuck waiting until my foot heals before I can really deal with anything in regards to that. I need to call and schedule a ride to get my next x-rays soon too. Monday, really. I’m seeing the podiatrist on February 1st so I need to get them done before then and the ride people require five business days lead time. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before but arbitrary bullshit always bares repeating. The last time I called them they whined about needing my doctor to fill out a form for them that I was under the impression they already had. I don’t know how often that needs to be done but it can’t be every few weeks, can it? These people really don’t seem to have their act together at all.
In my all encompassing intelligence I think I may have screwed up my foot though. A few days ago I decided that I was sick and tired of being trapped at home and so I went for a short walk. It was raining so I didn’t wear my boot, as it’s mostly made of foam, but I did wear my ankle support. Anyway, it was a very short walk, maybe two average sized blocks in distance, but by the time I got home I was feeling a strange pulling sensation in my foot around where the fracture was. I wondered if it was just my imagination but my foot has definitely been more sore and painful to the touch there as well. I really hope I didn’t screw anything up but if I did and have to start healing all over again it would be my own damn fault.
I saw my shrink finally. It was a strange visit. The whole thing was strange, actually. I was supposed to show up early for group, then see my services coordinator to fill out my yearly re-authorization paperwork, and then finally see the doctor. Well, I go there early for group only to find out that my services coordinator was currently out on medical leave. No one told me why and I didn’t ask. Then, during group, I simply broke down crying. I don’t know why. I think everything has just been getting to me. They had me see another services coordinator and we talked for a bit and then completed my re-authorization.
A couple hours later I saw the doctor, and things got even weirder. She seemed like she was really pushing me to leave the facility. Not that she didn’t think I needed care, but that she wanted me to go somewhere else. To be precise, she wanted me to transfer to my current medical clinic. Now, I get all of my physical medical care at one place but my psychological care at another. My medical place also has a psychiatric care department but from what everyone has told me it’s simply not up the the standards of the facility I go to for my psychiatric care currently. As such, everyone there has recommended that I stay where I am.
This doctor was insisting that I switch over to them. Of course I would prefer to be able to receive all of my care from one single integrated facility but if that means receiving substandard services then I can’t really abide that. Strangely, she also told me that she was thinking about transferring over to my current medical facility. From what I hear, they could really use the help. But still, the whole situation just felt really odd. I’m wondering if the county has told them that they should be expecting to see funding cuts and as such they should cut down on the number of patients they see. It would make sense, but be odd that they wouldn’t simply be forthright about it. They were when a similar situation came up several years ago, although that was thankfully resolved without issue
Anyway, she eventually prescribed me a new medication: Cymbalta. I haven’t started taking it though because it’s currently at the pharmacy and I currently have no way of currently getting there because of my current issues involving my current foot… currently. Robert’s been completely out of commission this entire past week as well. So I’m currently (STOP THAT!) stuck waiting until, hopefully, Monday at the very latest. Robert has group a few blocks from the pharmacy and should be able to pick it up for me then, as long as he goes that is. As I said, he’s been out of commission but hopefully getting better. It’s a wait and see game, and he might yet get worse again before he gets better but you know what they say about clouds: They all have unicorns or rainbows or some such other crap. I dunno. I don’t care either. Fuck the whole goddamn thing.
I guess that’s it since I can’t really think of anything else… currently (WHAT DID I SAY!). Didn’t sleep too well last night but I’m starting to feel like I could pass out again. At least for a little while anyway. Robert’s been snoring up a storm behind me the whole time. Bastard. I really should… pillow… fluff… damn it…
Just once, can’t I be the bad guy?!