Is this the end?

I’m confused right now. Very afraid. Things have gone completely out of control. It might be best for me to just pack up my few meager possessions (well, the ones I care about anyway) and simply walk away. I’ve been here before. I don’t like it. I hate feeling powerless. Yet here I am once again.

Broken people attract broken people. It’s not a nice thing to say but the truth is the truth.

I’m planning to be here through the rest of the month since rent has already been paid. After that, I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to know. I don’t do well with change. I don’t do well with much of anything really. I don’t know if I should even be here at all.

I just want a corner. I just want a corner I can hide in and be left alone. That’s all I really want out of life. Just leave me alone and let me be. I don’t need to bother you and you don’t need to bother me. I’ve lost this one, apparently. They always seem to be taken away from me for one reason or another.

Why does it always end up like this with me?

I need to clean. I need to clean and stop thinking about any of this. What’s coming is coming and there’s nothing I can do to stop it or change it. I’m just going to clean right now. Clean and try to relax. Try to forget that the life I’ve known for the past decade is now falling apart all around me.

Everything I’ve ever known has always been presented to me by circumstance, and now circumstance betrays me once again. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.

I need to take out the trash.

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